The Flower Blooming

image

My love for you is something I cannot explain

It continues like a flower in the rain

I used to be a flower with no blooms, only leaves

You have given the nurturing and loving a flower needs

Now I have not only one bloom to open

But so many, I am overflowing!

I continue to grow through you and a love like never before

Knowing that I am beautiful and should hide no more

I will continue to bloom and show the world

Because I have been found and I am adored.

You Saved Me…


The moment you met me

What did you see?

Something in my eye…

A sparkle of light

Something inside me wanting to be free

And take flight

A happiness, a joy, a heart filled to the brim

Ready to share and give and love the right man

You opened me up inside

And told me not to hide

To hold onto you tight

And not run, but fight

You stood by me through the really tough moments

And never turned away though you were truly spent

And so I have my smile

And that person that was inside, all the while

You are the one who helped me find her…

And now she can love you like you deserve.

Love Never Fails

image

LOVE…

I write a lot about love. To me love is the ultimate, the only, the everything. I believe love is the answer. Love has a way of overlooking and pushing on regardless of the situation. Love looks past the bad thing and sees the good on the other side.

Love has the capability to heal. Love can heal anything that is broken. Love can make all things new. Love can restore and draw close.

Love chooses love above all else and believes in itself…

Love is a powerful force within our world. Love gives joy, peace, forgiveness, grace, hope and essentially, life. Without love there is pain and suffering, greed and jealousy, anger and revenge, thus making death imminent.

Love is given to us by the ONE who defines love. GOD is love and therefore love is HIM. So, everything love is, well that’s who God is.

The one who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love. [He is the originator of love, and it is an enduring attribute of His nature.] 1 John 4:8 (AMP)

This is just one verse that shows us who God is and how important love is. Because God is love, we should do everything in love.

Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14 (NASB)

As we walk in love, we are patient, kind, hopeful, peaceful, encouraging, not boasting, complaining or giving up. Love enables us to believe in all things and hope for all things for all people.

4 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. 7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (AMP)

In life, we each have a choice how to live each moment, each day. Sometimes trials we face present difficult choices and walking in love is a struggle. But as we persevere and stay in that love, the Father is with us covering us with His love, protecting us. I believe that even in the hard times, as we stay in close connection with the Father, the hard times are less difficult, bearable even. These times only become unbearable when we throw off that blanket of Love. We then are exposed to the cold world and a battle that we cannot win on our own.

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:14 (NASB)

Choose love over all things, share love, give love… even when you don’t feel like it. Love, God’s Love, will always comfort, heal and fill our hearts with peace and joy. That love spreads and covers others. By putting on love, we have on our armor to face the attacks as we go into battle each day. At the end of the day, we are whole, having been protected by the love of the Father. To me, that is the best feeling ever and something I never want to lose!

image

In the Silence

image

Silence may be all you hear
But if you hear it, is it really silence?
Instead it might be God’s presence
Sometimes He is most present in the silence
Do we listen enough?
Maybe if we listened more
We would hear the Father more
Take time to listen
Take time to be quiet
Sit in the silence and wait for Him
Then listen to what He says
God will speak
He will speak when you are listening…
Are you listening?
What do you hear?
In the silence, do you hear His still small voice?
Listen, it is there
In the silence, The Father is speaking…

image

Weather the Storm…


When life gets hard what do most of us do? Well, I know I often fight back. Unfortunately, the fighting back comes in the form of lashing out at the ones I love, the ones closest to me. The only thing that this action accomplishes is hurt and pain all around. So, not only am I struggling, but the ones who could’ve probably encouraged and lifted me up are also now struggling, all because of my pain and suffering. 
How awful!!!

Now, we begin the process of trying to repair the damage that we have caused on those around us. The best way to move forward in that is remorse and humility. We must beg for forgiveness from those who we have hurt, including Father God. Once that has been completed, the next goal is to figure out how to grow from the experience. In growing, we learn how to do better and hopefully prevent hurting others and ourselves in the future. The next time we will respond in love and lean on those around us rather than pushing them away.

This is also a lesson in humility as well as trust. Becoming vulnerable before up others is tricky because it allows our hearts to be seen by another person. We are no longer hidden, but instead we are exposed for all to see. Naked is how we feel in this moment. And honestly, how many of us are comfortable being naked? But becoming naked before others is how we grow in humility. Growing in humility is an true that expression of loving others. In that moment, we think of others over ourselves and selfishness takes a backseat as love climbs to the front to drive. Love, and ultimately God, has now taken control. 

Each trial is an opportunity for us to become more like God. Becoming more like God means loving more and not caring what that looks like. Loving without abandon enables us to walk through our storms and maybe even catch a rainbow or two! And in those rainbows, God is there promising you His love. Why not let go and let Him lead you? It certainly can’t be any worse, but it will definitely be better! 

Unconditional Love

love unconditional

Life happens, even when we don’t want it to. Sometimes it even continues all around you even when you are trying to stand still. But in those moments, we often feel the presence of God even more than we ever would. Those moments are the times that God reaches out and embraces us in the midst of our hurricane.
One of my hurricanes happened when I was 19 and in college. My desire to be loved and wanted was so intense that I was willing to lose myself in the process. This is a dangerous place to be in, a place where we give in sometimes to get it over with.

So as a 19 year old in a world I had never been in, I trusted another human to love me. In that moment, there was love. Whether the love was just on my side is okay, because in that moment, my first beautiful daughter became a reality.

As I began to embrace the fact that I was going to have a baby, fear set in. I believed I loved the father and felt like the only right thing to do was to get married and raise the baby.

My parents thought differently. They felt like the worst option to choose was marriage. Of course to me the worse option was was having an abortion, but since that wasn’t even a choice for my very devout Catholic mother, marriage was the worse option.

This began a very emotional season for me where I tried to figure out what to do.

Was marriage truly not an option? But I thought I loved the father. And if I loved him, shouldn’t we get married and have our baby? That is what he wanted. But did he want it too badly? Not only that, I had to know what I was feeling and what to I wanted to do.

As the months passed, I began to realize that the best choice for my baby was adoption. I loved my baby more than imaginable. Because of that, I knew this would be the best for her. She deserved the happy home that I had growing up. She deserved a mother and father together, established and ready to give her the opportunities in life that I couldn’t give her.

My baby continued to grow and the months passed. Before I knew it, her time came. I woke up in the middle of the night, around 3 am, having to pee and instead my water broke on the bathroom floor. I called to my mom and shortly after we were on the way to the hospital. After a fairly easy and completely natural labor, my baby girl was born at 7:30 am on November 3, 1991.

I wasn’t going to hold her or even see her. I knew that I would never be able to leave her. But, because I loved her so and she deserved a better life, I was going home without her. Well, the next morning, after a very emotional 24 hours, I decided I had to at least see her. I couldn’t leave the hospital and chance not ever seeing her.

So I went to the nursery, and saw her. Oh, how beautiful she was! And her eyes, those eyes remained in my mind for many years. I even talked to her and told her how much I loved her and how I always would.

I went home and cried for what seemed like weeks. Post pardon depression set in and a sadness like I had never ever felt. I had a hole in my heart. I wasn’t sure it would ever heal.

Eventually, I fell back into the motions of my life. I went through each day and realized that I was never going to forget, so I had to figure out how to move on. The only way was to throw myself into my school and work and not leave time for feeling.

I thought about her every day and my love never died… It was always there. I prayed that one day, she would want to know me and God would allow it to happen.

God answered my prayer. On New Years Eve 2007, I saw her again after 16 years. Not only that, my second daughter Kaysi, got to meet her half sister Ginny for the first time. It was weird and amazing all at once. My two girls together!

Over the next several years we have stayed in touch and talked and become more acquainted.

Ginny is an amazing young woman. But that is due to her mom and dad who her adopted her 24 years ago and raised her. I loved her enough, and then they loved her too.

I have often thought about my choice and my daughter over the years. Yes, I missed her growing up and yes, I could have raised her… She would have been loved by me and my family. But would she have been as well taken care of and had the amazing opportunities her parents have given her? I still believe to this day that I made the right choice for Ginny, even though it was, without a doubt, the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I made it out of complete and unconditional love for my baby and for the beautiful woman this baby has become!

Faith

faith (1)

Do you have faith? How do you know if you have faith? You might think you have faith, but maybe not. Or maybe you do have faith, but it could be more. Some of your are like, yeah, I hear you. I know exactly what you are saying. My faith could be deeper, stronger, more blind even. Others of you are really not understanding. You are saying to yourself, of course I have faith, I believe… don’t I?

Well, check this out. If you have ANY doubt, any at all, your faith is not as complete as it can be. And honestly, you are missing out. Having this blind faith is beyond what you could even imagine, until you feel the ultimate peace that comes with it.

So, how do we get that?

Faith is defined as, a belief in God based on spirituality rather than proof. A good verse in scripture that backs up that definition is from the book of Hebrews…

Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses]. Hebrews 11:1 (AMP)

Faith, then is not something we can physically touch or feel, but rather something we know. We believe in God.

Now, there are steps to growing in faith. In most cases, we don’t believe fully at first. This is often a result of our mind not being able to grasp the “idea” of God. It just doesn’t make sense on so many levels. Thus the battle between our heart and our mind ensues yet again.

As we learn more about God and His nature, we often will grow in our faith. God even helps with this part. How? Well, as we spend time in prayer, worship and in His Word, we are spending time with Him. In this time, the Father allows us to know Him and feel Him. These kinds of moments increase our faith.

Trust is directly related to faith. How much we trust the Lord affects the amount of faith we have and vise versa. Having faith in the Father is believing the words He tells us and trusting that He will follow thru on His promises. He tells us He will, but we still have to decide to believe Him. Abraham believed… as did many others in Biblical history.

yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, 21 and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.  Romans 4:20-21 (NASB)

The mustard seed is often referenced when faith is the topic of discussion. Faith of a mustard seed is the phrase used. This is very profound. The mustard seed is tiny, as sometimes our faith may seem in the beginning.

Here is another illustration Jesus used: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. 32 It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches.”  Matthew 13:31-32 (NLT)

As the mustard seed is planted and it grows, it becomes the largest plant and ultimately becomes a tree in the garden… just like our faith, as we sow into our belief and trust in God’s promises into our heart, our faith grows until it is the largest tree in our heart’s garden. Once we are consumed by this HUGE faith… everything else flows out of it in goodness and love.

Believe today…have faith as the Father continues to be faithful to you and me. The faith growing inside of you will only draw you closer to Him and allow you to feel the presence of God even more. In that presence of trust and blind faith, peace covers you, a peace that only is found in the Father’s love. Allow your faith to continue to grow today and share with others. Walk in faith, peace and love.

faith-1

Time of Rest…

 

rest

I have been away and haven’t even written anything new in a few weeks. Sometimes as writers, we go through times like this in our lives. Things happen and crowd our day making it almost impossible to fit anything else into it. Writing does not seem to take precedence over the daily activities. Other times, it is because of a physical ailment which prevents the cognitive and motor skills as well as the desire from pursuing much of anything. I recently had surgery, my first ever, and well, my brain has been in a bit of a fog for the past week or so. Not the most conducive place to be in for writing.

In this absence, I have felt many different thoughts floating through, taking root in my psyche. It seems as though my mind is always processing the events in my life and relating them to emotions in my heart. As these two come together, they form a union that gives birth to all my writing. Even in the fog of coming out of surgery and pain meds and the pure exhaustion at doing seemingly basic things, the writing still floated through me. Unfortunately, trying to put anything sensible together, would have been a insurmountable feat!

All that being said… I have a slew of “stuff” to get out. It will be forthcoming as quickly as my fingers can type it out! I hope it is inspiring, encouraging and a blessing to each of you that take time to read any of it! Thank you for reading… and remember, life gives us a choice each day, each hour, each moment to live and LOVE! Choose love my friends… and be blessed, because you are loved too!!!

writing-quotes