No More Fear

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Fear. That all consuming feeling that has the ability to cover and usher in so many lies. Fear can be crippling, fear can destroy, fear can stop us from moving forward and fear can block LOVE.

I have spent my entire life in a state of fear. I knew I was fearful of heights and spiders as most of us are fearful of something. So, I just equated my hesitancy in life to those two fears. Little did I know that the extent of my fear actually fueled larger fears. In the belief of these larger fears, my pause on life happened. I actually prevented myself from many experiences in life due to this pause. My inability to move forward was present as a result the physical inability ultimately caused by a mental belief and fear. Even writing that makes me step back and go, WOW… ! I truly had no idea that a stronghold like this had a hold of my life and essentially me!

In this revelation, I have come face to face with the INCREDIBLE love of the Father. In His beautiful, gentle way, Papa God has been revealing this to me over the last few weeks. I knew about 3 months ago that He was working on my fears, or at least the two, heights and spiders, that I thought I had. Recently though, as these two fears are being broken off, He has illuminated the layers of fear underneath… layers that He is slowly and pulling back and allowing me to see.

Deep pain has begun to surface and the tears seem to flow endlessly. Father God has been right there with me the whole time comforting me in the pain and wiping my tears away as He continues to cover me in His love. The process is definitely one of the hardest in my life! It’s difficulty doesn’t scare me though, because I am no longer afraid…

Did I just say that?

Yes, I said I am no longer afraid. AND, I will continue to say it.

My fear took seed and grew out of lies that I believed. Lies about myself, about those around me and even lies about God’s love. These lies were the weeds that strangled out the truth in my heart. They yelled above the truths that were whispered. In that place, the lies seemed more like truth.

In this new season, I see these lies as what they are…lies. I no longer believe them. Instead, I now believe the truths… truths that Jesus spoke and truths that Holy Spirit reminds me of often. One truth that is at the forefront to me is that there is no fear in love. This is key. Love is the Father. Essentially, if I am abiding in the Father, in His love, fear is nowhere to be found. Fear will not be present in the presence of the Father. Whoa! All I have to do is stay with my Daddy and I will experience love instead of fear.

The thoughts running through my head struggle with why. Why does God love me so much? Then Holy Spirit steps in halting this circle of thoughts. The Father loves you because you are His daughter. He wants you to feel His love, always. Then, am hit with another thought… Just because He loves me, it’s all because of love.  In taking away my fears, the Father is putting love there instead. Fear goes, love comes rushing in filling me up!!!

In looking back, especially over the last week, I can say with confidence, that love IS what I have felt in those moments where fear would normally be present. In moments where I should have been frozen by fear, I have moved in love. Ha! It is such freedom for me! I actually feel like I want to try new things now, things that I would have never even thought about before, merely because of fear. So crazy and so good at the same time! And this is who my Daddy is!

I am beyond thankful for Father God and His insane love for me! Not only that, in this love, He continues to pursue me so I can feel His love. In that all consuming love, my paralyzing fears are being revealed and broken off… forever! Then my feet will be ready for adventures with a heart consumed with the love of the Father. This breakthrough will launch me into a season of carrying the Father’s love into dark and scary places, releasing light and freedom.

I am ready… I am no longer afraid!

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True Strength

My strength comes from YOU                                                                                                               inside my heart YOU pull me through

YOUR love is so intense                                                                                                                          it covers me in completeness

A new place I have found                                                                          my life has turned around

Freedom is what I feel                                                                         because to me YOU are real

No longer am I weak                                                                               YOUR strength encompasses me

Oh, I am so very full too                                                                             Father, so in love with YOU!

The Ultimate Cleanse

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My new season is definitely a time of soaking and receiving. It is also a time of cleansing. In fact, extreme cleansing! I am sure many of you can relate. As I am processing all that is going on around me and in me, the Father is pulling out of me all of that stuff that doesn’t belong. Haha, yes! He is cleansing me spiritually and it is not easy.

I knew when I began on this journey that there would be things I would have to deal with, sort through and heal from. I did not realize what a crazy hard but also amazingly freeing experience it would be! I am finding in the last few weeks, that I have 40 years of stuff inside of me that the Father is lovingly purging.

Now, let me be clear. Purging means to get rid of something. As you get rid of it, you look at it one last time and then you say goodbye, at least metaphorically. So, in my process of being cleansed by Papa God, we are looking at each event, emotion, hurt, characteristic, and then letting it go. Again clarification in this is important because I know that each of these things are part of my history and essentially part of me, so they are still part of me, but they no longer control me… that is the key. With my Daddy, we sort through, we remember, we cry, we feel the pain, but then He helps me let it go. And, not only let go, but put it behind me and walk away.

This cleanse is such an important part of my claiming my inheritance and walking into the fullness the Father has for me. Only as I am full and complete, will I be able to fully receive. The incredible side of this is that God, who has immeasurable love for me, is right beside me in this often very painful season. And without Him, I would not be able to do it. Because not only is He ever present, He has surrounded me with a beautiful family as well.

So, as much as this spiritual cleanse is icky and painful like a physical cleanse is, I will do it because of the promise the Father has for me…and what is waiting for me.

  “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t
give them a second thought because God, your God, is
striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He
won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 (MSG)

My Journey to Freedom

My journey has begun. I am no longer the person I was, but neither am I the person I will be. The process has been initiated and I am ready. In this process, I am expectant. The Lord is changing me from the inside out. It has already started. There has been pain, and many tears. The shedding off, the breaking away of all the crap that needed to be gone. I only use crap, because that is truly the best word to describe that stuff the Lord has been digging out of me. Things like fear, fear of everything! In fact, my fear was so intense, that it brought on anxiety and then because of the anxiety, depression. It was a wonder that I was able to function at all throughout my life. His strength was always in me and that is the only reason why. But just His strength is not enough… I needed to break off the spirit of fear that was debilitating to my life!

I had a revelation about two and a half months ago, that fear was the root of most of my issues. Fear was blocking me from receiving the fullness of life the Father had for me. Fear was preventing me from truly living the abundant life! Once that revelation sunk in, the Father and I began working on breaking all of those fears off. All I can say is, it has been difficult but also freeing! I have had some major breakthrough, and in those moments, I have finally begun to believe in me and how God sees me.

So, in this process, I, with Holy Spirit right beside me, have come face to face with many of my fears. There have still been some anxiety in those moments, but more courage than fear. I still have work to do, but I am no longer afraid, at least not like I was. More importantly, I am aware of this side of me now, and am equipped on how to walk with Holy Spirit through it. In the beginning of this process, I received a very profound word which catapulted me into conquering this head first; if I am trusting God, then why would I be afraid of anything, because He is the protector of all. Moreover, just because I am afraid doesn’t mean I can prevent anything from happening, but rather might increase the severity of it because of my fear and anxiety! In that moment, I realized that I was not in control, and so I didn’t need to be fearful. And, the weight that had been on me my entire life, began to lessen. What a feeling!!! It was amazing!

My fears are not completely gone, I know there is still work to be done. But, I am already changed and my walk is so much lighter and more free. My life experiences are already abundant, because I am taking risks and trusting the Father in every step. I have finally embarked on my adventure to a fuller life and I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me!!!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be
afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be
with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)