Fear. That all consuming feeling that has the ability to cover and usher in so many lies. Fear can be crippling, fear can destroy, fear can stop us from moving forward and fear can block LOVE.
I have spent my entire life in a state of fear. I knew I was fearful of heights and spiders as most of us are fearful of something. So, I just equated my hesitancy in life to those two fears. Little did I know that the extent of my fear actually fueled larger fears. In the belief of these larger fears, my pause on life happened. I actually prevented myself from many experiences in life due to this pause. My inability to move forward was present as a result the physical inability ultimately caused by a mental belief and fear. Even writing that makes me step back and go, WOW… ! I truly had no idea that a stronghold like this had a hold of my life and essentially me!
In this revelation, I have come face to face with the INCREDIBLE love of the Father. In His beautiful, gentle way, Papa God has been revealing this to me over the last few weeks. I knew about 3 months ago that He was working on my fears, or at least the two, heights and spiders, that I thought I had. Recently though, as these two fears are being broken off, He has illuminated the layers of fear underneath… layers that He is slowly and pulling back and allowing me to see.
Deep pain has begun to surface and the tears seem to flow endlessly. Father God has been right there with me the whole time comforting me in the pain and wiping my tears away as He continues to cover me in His love. The process is definitely one of the hardest in my life! It’s difficulty doesn’t scare me though, because I am no longer afraid…
Did I just say that?
Yes, I said I am no longer afraid. AND, I will continue to say it.
My fear took seed and grew out of lies that I believed. Lies about myself, about those around me and even lies about God’s love. These lies were the weeds that strangled out the truth in my heart. They yelled above the truths that were whispered. In that place, the lies seemed more like truth.
In this new season, I see these lies as what they are…lies. I no longer believe them. Instead, I now believe the truths… truths that Jesus spoke and truths that Holy Spirit reminds me of often. One truth that is at the forefront to me is that there is no fear in love. This is key. Love is the Father. Essentially, if I am abiding in the Father, in His love, fear is nowhere to be found. Fear will not be present in the presence of the Father. Whoa! All I have to do is stay with my Daddy and I will experience love instead of fear.
The thoughts running through my head struggle with why. Why does God love me so much? Then Holy Spirit steps in halting this circle of thoughts. The Father loves you because you are His daughter. He wants you to feel His love, always. Then, am hit with another thought… Just because He loves me, it’s all because of love. In taking away my fears, the Father is putting love there instead. Fear goes, love comes rushing in filling me up!!!
In looking back, especially over the last week, I can say with confidence, that love IS what I have felt in those moments where fear would normally be present. In moments where I should have been frozen by fear, I have moved in love. Ha! It is such freedom for me! I actually feel like I want to try new things now, things that I would have never even thought about before, merely because of fear. So crazy and so good at the same time! And this is who my Daddy is!
I am beyond thankful for Father God and His insane love for me! Not only that, in this love, He continues to pursue me so I can feel His love. In that all consuming love, my paralyzing fears are being revealed and broken off… forever! Then my feet will be ready for adventures with a heart consumed with the love of the Father. This breakthrough will launch me into a season of carrying the Father’s love into dark and scary places, releasing light and freedom.
I am ready… I am no longer afraid!