Say Yes…

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God moves us. He moves us in ways that are good for us. Sometimes, we fight that, at least initially. Once we let Him do His thing, our Father, reveals to us all the awesomeness of living for Him.

I have fought the Lord for many years. Not in a way where I have gone against Him, or backslide completely. I have fought God in different ways.

As the Lord has drawn me close and increased my knowledge of Him, He has also drawn me into areas that were outside my comfort zone. I didn’t realize it until now. I was so inside my life and who I thought I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to do for the Lord, that I was missing His call on my life.

Sometimes in the midst of something huge from the Lord, we miss His call, because we have to be truly listening to His heart and not our own.

My heart was telling me I was doing His work while His heart was wanting me to do more… not more work, but give more of me…

That was something that I didn’t come to the realization of until very recently. As recently as today. Yes, this morning, the Lord revealed this exact challenge to me. I read a devotional which challenged me to go lower, dig deeper… seek the Lord more and surrender to Him completely. Then, the Father gave me the vision of Jesus washing feet… that’s where He wanted me.

The Father wants me to wash feet…

Well, I am ready.

In exactly one week, I will begin this journey of washing feet. I am letting the Lord do His thing with me…

I will be heading to California, to live by myself with no husband ( I will see my husband about every other month), no furry babies ( I had to find new homes for my two beautiful female cats), my daughter will be 3 hours away instead of 3 minutes (I will see her once or twice a month instead of 4 or 5 times a week) and I be building a new life in a brand new place forging new relationships all while going to ministry school.

WOW… so God and not me. Completely out of my comfort zone all the way around!

But that’s how I know it is completely and totally of the Lord and his purpose for me.

So, now, I have said yes to God. And I am anxiously waiting for what’s next. I already know it’s going to be amazing… I am believing because God has said so, and God doesn’t lie

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Lead Me There…

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I look into my eyes

there I see all the lies

My life for so long

was nothing but wrong

I was not being me

but who I thought I should be

I could not see through

until the day I found you

The clouds began to part

and slowly I saw into my heart

Who I had become

and how to overcome

You held me

as I began to see

I no longer had to hide

from the person inside

I could be happy and secure

and finally feel something pure

Now I understand

and I have a new plan

I have much to give

and a life to really live

I will live my life in a way

to give me joy every day

And I will never look back again

or wonder what would have been

Because I have found my way through

to a love I will never lose.

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My Revelation…

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My life has been a variety of experiences and challenges both blessings and hardships. I know all of us can relate. We each have many stories to share of our life journeys. Even as we look back many years later, we often remember the moments so clearly and the emotions that surrounded that time. Sometimes it even knocks us down with the overwhelming realization of what happened. This is what I found this morning while drinking my coffee and having my quiet time with the Father… He took me back over a period of time in my life and showed me truth. His Truth. He allowed me to see that time in my life as He saw it. And, all I can say is, WOW and let me share…

As this particular time in my life began, I was searching for meaning. I needed to know that there was a reason for everything. I had lost my mom, my marriage and even myself. If I was to survive and not self-destruct… I had to find myself.

I did find a way to God like I had never known before. Being raised Catholic, I believed in God and prayed and knew He was with me, but I didn’t really have a relationship with the Father. I did not know Him, because I didn’t know His Word. I really did not understand that Jesus was there always and that the love of the Father was covering me always. So, to say the least, when I met Jesus and became part of the family, I came to know God better and began to deepen my relationship. But, in that revelation, I lost sight of everything else.

I became a “Jesus Freak” and not in a good way. I became judgmental of everyone around me if they were not like me. I felt like I was doing the right thing and everyone else was wrong. I alienated many people during that time in my life because of my actions. The crazy thing is, I thought I was doing it for God and being a good daughter.

Even in my ministry work and serving at my church, I lost sight of the great example that Jesus himself gave us…

12 After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet.   John 13:12-14 (NLT)

When we serve others, we humble ourselves to loving them, just as Jesus did.

I served and worked hard, but it was all about the “tasks” and not LOVE. The most important thing about serving God, in whatever capacity you do, is to walk in love… ALWAYS.

I thought I was loving, because I was in ministry and serving all the time… didn’t that mean I loved the Lord and the people? Not really. Where was my heart? Was I putting the tasks and the stuff, whatever it was, before the people? And, essentially, before the Father?

Had I become like the Pharisees…? Oh no! That mere thought haunted me and made me sad… and in that moment, Jesus allowed me to see my heart. I had been confused and misguided and distracted, but not completely. As, I read His Word more, I came to know Him and His nature and well, my heart began changing. OH, our Lord is so good to us as He constantly guides us… such a good, good Father!!!

As my heart began changing, I knew the Father was taking me in a new direction. I had been shown that I needed to love more, and love unconditionally. But, it needed to start with me… the Father wanted me to know how much HE loved His daughter and wanted me to love myself too. Only then would I be able to to love others fully.

Loving ourselves is often harder than loving someone else. But, you cannot truly love to the capacity the Lord has given us if we cannot love ourselves. Once we love ourselves, we understand the love of God. With that understanding in our minds and His love in our hearts, we can go out and serve others in the fullest magnitude possible!

10 As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.  1 Peter 4:10-11 (NASB)

I now know what it means to serve God and walk in His love. I also believe that I needed that season in order to be ready to receive what I have currently been given. Each season in our life is a step closer to the Father and part of our path in becoming more like Jesus. My love towards people around me is so much more now that I understand the Father’s love. I am most excited that I constantly strive to find ways to share love and cover others with that most amazing love. I want to show people how. Everyone needs this love… and it is available. We are charged with showing the world so everyone can know the love of the Father. Don’t waste an opportunity… it might not come again.

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